Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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