just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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