we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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