all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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