Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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