I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
