U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
