i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
