Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
