She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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