considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
