she was so not down for the gang bang
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
