not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
