you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
