My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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