we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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