so let's talk penis.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
