Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
