I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
