Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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