What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
