Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
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I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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