"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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