capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
