'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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