i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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