I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
