perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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