no, he came in my armpit
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
