she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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