TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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