Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This baby is an asshole
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
