did you get engaged???
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
