I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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