More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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