I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
