it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I deserve this hangover.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
