And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
