Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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