You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
