i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
