Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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