is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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