:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
