the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
