It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
