I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
