why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
