the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My penis needs a shock collar
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
