Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
