I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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