No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
