theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
