I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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