My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
