Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
