batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
