I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
