so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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