i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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